Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
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I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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