Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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