I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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