my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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