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drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Randomize
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