your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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