If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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