You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize