First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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