my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
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We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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