It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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