Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
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If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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