So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize