Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
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You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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