I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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