my vag is so smooth its legendary
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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