So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize