fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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