I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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