Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
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Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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