im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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