haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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