Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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