Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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