"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize