All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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