yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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