Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
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... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize