420 ftw
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize