He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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