Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
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there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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