you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
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Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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