If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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