i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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