So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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