i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just blew my weed a kiss
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
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You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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