when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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