In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize