the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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