Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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