so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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