they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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