Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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