yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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