how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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