Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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