She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize