I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
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I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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