He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize