you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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